Lack of connection (sambandha)

How do you create a connection (sambandha) in your devotional practices?

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I have been contemplating my mood when I chant, and I don’t know how to describe it except neutral. There isn’t much service mood there and trying to force a mood is difficult. Even thinking in those terms, doesn’t make a mood come through.

I watch TV and what I really like is the way I disappear when watching something. I completely forget my life and situation, and I’m absorbed into the TV series. But even series are loosing its hold on me, and I find myself with more time for devotional practices. What strikes me is how difficult it is to feel a connection.

I have been at the place where I looked so forward to the times where I could spend the rest of the evening hours for devotional activities. It was with such joy, and then the feeling of connection was there. But then I had spent time at work reading and going into siddhanta. It’s unusual I have time for that at work.

Usually I chant, read etc. but with a neutral feeling. I like those activities, but I’m still often neutral and with no or little feeling of connection.

What am I missing? What is it that I’m lacking in my knowledge/understanding?

(Sambandha is used to refer to the different types of relationship one can have to krishna, so I’m not even sure I can use the word in the way I’m using it now.)

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