Recently, conflicts seem to chase me down and it’s fine. I’m dealing with it. It’s part of my life now, but it’s not a part of me. Despite my attempts at high mindedness in dealing with conflicts, what is left in the end?
I believe that we have to help people. I consider even helping people in their personal development to be indirectly devotional service. Everybody is a jiva with a birth right to spiritual life. Even if they in no way approach God, if I have somehow facilitated a person to increase their self reflection, tolerance, patience or whatever – I consider my life successful. I believe those qualities will follow them in their next life, because those qualities are also part of Krishna (and therefore spiritual).
But the thing is – conflicts are a diversion. In one sense I’m happy for the resistance I’m meeting because it makes me strive harder for God. But in another sense I see it for what it is: It’s a diversion from what I want.
It’s not even interesting. I don’t really see things as conflicts and quarrels anymore, all I see is a lack of different qualities in people. By all means, I can get angry like the next person, but I also see the lack of qualification in people that makes a situation to what it is. Understanding people takes away anger quickly. I see how little I can influence; it’s probably better to just leave it to Krishna.
But – if there is a problem we still have to deal with the problem and solve it somehow.
It’s just so boring still. It’s so temporary and uninteresting. We have gone down this path thousands of times before. Why don’t we go listen to some Harikatha instead?