Receiving life

bhaktis tu bhagavad-bhakta-sangena parijayate
sat-sangah prapyate pumbhih sukrtaih purva-sancitaih

Bhakti is awakened when one associates with bhaktas of Sri Bhagavan. Association with suddha-bhaktas is attained only by the accumulation of transcendental pious activities performed over many lifetimes.

Brhan-Naradiya-Purana 4.33

I used to be a part of Science of Identity Foundation through some polish devotees who was preaching here in Norway. At some point I was thinking that I should find myself a Guru, and of course Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa was the one who came up. He was the only one I knew of. So I prayed hard, because I wanted the real deal. I wanted a pure devotee and nothing less. A couple of months later some devotees of Gurudeva came to Norway and the rest is history.

When the debate of Srila Prabhupadas rasa emerged, it took some time for me before I understood that KBM was actually the place I had stayed at when I was in Vrindavin the last time (I think it was 2005). I was very covered then, so I didn’t really recognize how fortunate I was to be staying there.

During my stay there in 2005 I had a dream. I was sitting with some other devotees before Srila Gurudeva who was talking/lecturing (I didn’t see Gurudeva in my dream). I suddenly saw Krishnapriya didi and Madhusudhana Maharaja amongst these devotees. Then they saw me and put their heads together and said something to each other. Then I left that dream. When I woke up I thought the dream was a bit weird. I was staying at KBM, so why did I see them in my dreams (and not Gurudeva)?

I didn’t think much of it, and it took even a longer time before I remembered this dream after the debate occurred. The debate itself I now see as a test of our sincerity and may be as an indication of where we can turn for siksa. For someone like me, it’s essential that I have high class association. Nothing less is acceptable for me. I have this one life, it’s too precious to waste.

In an unexpected turn of events I have purchased plain tickets to Delhi for Christmas and will go to Vrindavin and visit KBM.

Suddenly the dream I had comes forward in an unexpected way. May be this was Gurudevas way of telling me where my community were – but I wouldn’t understand it until 10 years later? My be the dream told me where I should go for siksa?

I’m so, so, so looking forward to this. Finally! Finally I will be under guidance again? I sure need it.

And being in Vrindavin again will be amazing. I’m coming home.


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