Why do I keep on striving in my spiritual life when life is so hard? Today I got the sweet answer in a rememberance story from Kishori Mohan:
Today is the Appearance Day celebration of my spiritual uncle, Srila Bhaktivedanta Trivikrama Maharaja, the beloved Godbrother of my Gurudeva, Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Goswami Maharaja.
Here are some of my memories:
Once, Sudevi and Anu Radha were in his room and he was affectionately ‘harassing’ them with questions.
He asked them, “Why do you want to love Krsna?”
They answered, “Because He is beautiful!”
He said, “No, that is for You! Why do you want to love Krsna?”
They seemed perplexed and answered, “Because Gurudeva told us to!”
Sudevi saw me listening from outside and said, “Maharaja, my husband is outside. Ask him!”
So I had to enter the room. He was very strong in his classes, so I was a bit timid.
He asked me, “Why do you want to love Krsna?”
I replied, “I don’t know Maharaja. Please tell me!”
He responded, “Because it is your NATURE!”
He was so simple, yet so profound.
I loved his classes. They were a bit heavy, but I needed it. They always grounded me.
I remember in 1996, not many devotees were attending his classes. Srila Gurudeva told us that we should hear from him. He said something like, “He may look frightening, but actually, he’s very soft!”
Srila Gurudeva would always lovingly argue with him. Pujyapad BV Trivikrama Maharaja would say something like, “Candravali is the best devotee of Krsna.” And he would give his reasonings.
This would cause Srila Gurudeva to become very enthusiastic to prove the superiority of Srimati Radhika. I remember once that this conversation continued for quite a long time.
We were out on Parikrama at Rama Ghata, and it still continued.
They walked together to take acamana at Yamuna River and the arguing still continued. Finally, Srila Gurudeva jokingly said to him, “Anyhow, they all came to hear me speak, not you!” They were both laughing. Srila Gurudeva walked ahead and Maharaj was just laughing and shaking his head.
Later on, that same day, at Biharvan (where all the cows are), Maharaja sang Radhe Jaya Jaya Madhava Dayite, his eyes full of tears.